it's been 12 months
since i felt
closeness
against my spine
(but i no longer shake
or cry for comfort
like i did
the day he left me
to fend for myself
on these foreign streets)
i created
new familarities
as i fought valiently
through the darkness
he handed me
and i am no longer
seasick
as i no longer need to swim
so forcefully
against the tides
the southern hemisphere
has learnt to compliment me
with her brighter days
and warm embraces
yet i remain on tip-toe
on this tightrope
delicately balanced
w o r d s
have held no comfort
in these months
without anyone
to support them
and for so long
i've stood statue-still
at a crossroads
full of opportunities
and decisions
i continue
to turn my back on
((insisting instead
on cowering
behind my dreadlocks
that have grown endlessly
past my hips))
surrendering my curves
and my morals
to one night stands
and disconnected shame
with strangers
i could never care for
(as a way of reminding myself
i am still alive)
((a slap
to the system
making me numb))
i am unsure
where i truely believe
reality
should stand
(close to my backbone
or as far as possible
from my fingertips)
as i am still missing
vital pieces
to this puzzle
faith
is found
in the fleeting moments
we welcome
the darkness
((i am just
too afraid
to keep
these eyes
closed))
