Pixie Girl

she dances amongst the pixies
at the bottom of the garden
eyes closed
ballerina style
dreaming of the stars

this is where she hides
here where no-one else can find her

((safe in her world
where she is healthy
and free))

we search desperately to reach her
holding hearts and hope
wrapped up in bows and daisies
helplessly in our hands

((praying that this time she will see them
and hear the storms crashing around her
the lightening striking closer))

each year
she dances further into infinity
she aches in ways that should not be possible
so deeply entrenched in darkness
there is no light
to guide her out

yet she is smiling
doll-like
with a pride that she can still do this
that she is somehow - in all of this -
still living
regardless

Yet she is shrinking before us
slowly inside of her ribcage
her skin is torn and fragile
her bones are cracking
breaking hearts
that she doesn't see
cannot see
because the ache
is so unforgiving
it is blinding her porcelain eyes
And starving her soul

she is unable to fight
the way that they would like
clinging to the only control
she has left

((she can only cope when hovering
somewhere out of reach
at a safe distance))

i worry that we may already have lost her
that words like these could do nothing to mend
the damage torn through her

But i am just not ready
to give up on her just yet

Because despite the oceans between us
i can still see her shining brightly
And dancing through spider webs

But believe me when i tell you
she is dying before me

I have no way to tell her
“you are not lost
we can find you"

Because she cannot hear me

first she must leave the pixies
at the bottom of the garden
take one small ballerina step
towards us
and open those beautiful
porcelain eyes
wide

only then can we show her
there truly is
a way home

(I promise)

xxxxx